What is wrong with me?

I think I have changed

The saplings weren’t meant to see the sunlight

Is it strong enough this time or is its age to be blamed.

Things were ok till some time back

A gentle smile, a happy moment, a nice chat

Busy moments kept distracted

Never let the chariots wheel, feel misaligned

Never let them out of way

Things can still be the same

Horses will lead the chariot through its way

Desires will be met

And tides will limit itself to the bay

But why then is there this anguish, the restlessness, the fear

Why is there control over a tear?

Why is the hand getting shaky?

Why is there no joke when I want to be funny?

Why is the sun reminding itself that it will still come out again?

What is the sun reminding itself that it got no orbit?

Let those who are revolving, rotating

Let them be that way

Why is there reconciliation that this wasn’t the right time?

Why is there a war going on but no cries?

Why am I waiting for answers to my wounds?

When I know the pleasure lies in unconditional giving and unrelenting demise

Can I express this feeling?

Can I find the right words?

Can I get all the emotions together and

Make sure what I meant was clearly heard….

Confusion is no excuse

Neither is the frame of events

My mind’s preoccupation, the nonsense, the expectations

Stock them away

I am not ignoring them

At least……… let me so pretend…

I am game to go all in

I hate so much of you

I didn’t wish for this

I don’t know what to do

I don’t what I want.....Who I am

I don’t know………

I need you

The picture is so hazy

I drew the picture so….

My ride was easy

I drove all night, while headlamps were low

I was headed for the countryside

Baggage I didn’t have, had never been attached

………. lest I should abide

But I lost my path, I lost direction, I chose the direction

And now I don’t know where to go….

They say rest too face this situation

They say you learn on your way

You make choices and get to know yourself

And hence you know your way

I don’t get a good feeling

I don’t behave the way I want

I don’t get a good night’s sleep

My mind, my heart, my soul

Can’t resign to each other’s demands

I am fighting a battle

Can I express this feeling?

Confusion being no excuse

I am game to go all in

The picture is so hazy

Don’t care if rest too face this situation

I don’t get a good feeling

I would rather stand my ground, see it through and lose.